Pain on the Path

When one begins the path to Enlightenment, I’ve read it can be from either what we would call a painful or a wonderful experience.  My enlightenment began when I fell in love with a man whom I left my husband for.  I thought he was the love of my life.  After leaving my marriage of 13 years and hurting my beautiful 9 year old son, I found out he was nothing I desired.  I was soooooo incredibly blind and he had lied to me horrifically.  Alone one night after the midst of just beginning to find out his truth, I fell to my knees and asked God to forgive me for whatever I had done to deserve this. Then the most amazing thing happened, I heard a deep voice inside me say “stand up my child for you are loved”.  I realized then that God was nothing but love.  I grew up in a religious family and had been taught God punishes us.  I began to read your books and many others.  I have forgiven this man as I see him now as a child who is hurting himself deeply.  Though, he has been the greatest Teacher in my life and doesn’t even know this.  I love and care about him still as a friend.  I feel as if he is the reason I am now reaching out to find myself.  It has been almost 4 years since I left my marriage.  My now 12 year old son has begun to ask why I left his father.  I feel this deep pain inside of me often when I think about my son and how he must feel.  I’m scared to tell him I left his father for another man.  Should I tell him the truth?  I know he would still love me but I don’t know if he would understand and I don’t want to hurt him even more.  I am only beginning my path but why did it have to begin with so much pain and hurt others? Your insight would be much appreciated.