I am 30 year old single working female, coming from a traditional and conservative family. While growing up, most of the married couples I have seen in my family, even though things seem fine on the surface for them, but I have always sensed lack of fulfillment in their relationships. I have always had this ideal vision of a future partnership, which by no means was perfect, but based on mutual respect, trust and love. I was not willing to compromise this at any cost. I have stood up for myself in front of my family who wanted me to get an arranged marriage at a much younger age.
Lately however, I have been feeling the need for someone in my life. I should also mention that until about 2 years ago, I never felt that need. I was fine being single and never did anything proactive about meeting someone. Also, I have had low self-image about the way I look and had the fear that no one will ever like me on a physical level. I consider myself an intelligent person and don’t have any other major insecurities.
This need to be with someone, fear of not being liked and the sense of urgency as I am getting older has put me in sort of a desperate position where in two of my recent short term relationships I found myself compromising the most important things I wanted in a relationship. To a point that I allowed someone to even disrespect me. And this need has taken such a hold of me that I can’t focus on or appreciate any other areas of my life. Family and social pressure bothers me all the more now that I feel weak within. I also don’t want to keep meeting people in this unhealthy state of mind. Please advise what should I do to come out of this.