Overcoming Mother Issues

My relationship with my mother has become very strained. Though I consciously make an effort not to do or say anything that in any way gives her a chance to stir me. I have a feeling that I can’t love her any more even though she is my mother. I try to forgive and forget but she finds ways to upset me and out there to get me somehow. Is it something in my energy that’s creating all this? How do I take the responsibility of these circumstances and her behavior towards me? Please guide how do I calm her, my circumstances or so become so strong that her comments, her actions don’t disturb me. (The question is small but I hope u understand that intensity of this matter. My heart bleeds because of her words and actions and also no sitting together and solving issues helped. Everything falls back to square one.