Peaceful Childrearing

I really enjoy your teachings and books. I understand the things you speak of in your many books because I have experienced them myself. Life is a beautiful journey. I have just read “Peace is the Way”. It is a wonderful book. One thing that concerns me is something I read on page 151 of “Peace is the Way”. It concerns me because you are a great spiritual leader and you are showing many the way, speaking to their souls so that they may realize that what they are seeking is within themselves. The statement you made regarding the religious relationship some have to God, saying that “Basically, this is the relationship of a child to a parent. In the family setting reward and punishment work, since children need to be taught the lessons of right and wrong.” Deepak, I know you are not immersed in raising your children now so maybe you have forgotten a fundamental and vital detail. Honoring children is so important because it shows them how to honor themselves, others and their environment. Children should not be coerced, as this teaches coercion. The root cause of every act of violence among humans in the history of humanity is one person or a group of people believing he/she or they had the right to impose his/her or their will upon another. If we impose our will upon our children by the use of punishment or rewards of any kind, we are teaching them that they have the right to impose their will upon others. Children should be talked to, cared for and shown to listen to their inner-guidance. That is the discerning factor for determining right and wrong. It is so important for humanity to abandon any kind of power-over relationships with anyone, including children. In doing this, we can help not only ourselves get over our many personal issues, but we can help future generations be even more capable of the wonderful changes that
we envision. As Gandhi said, “There is no way to peace, peace is the way”. This does not exclude the relationships we have with our children. There must be so much to writing books, there is no way to get all the pertinent concepts across. I just want to raise this to your attention and I am hoping that this will be food for thought for you in future dialog you write or engage in, regarding one of the most important interactions we have that pertains directly to peace- the interactions we have with children. I have heard you say that when your children were young, you told them to do what makes them happy. I think you understand what I am saying and probably practiced it when you were raising your children. So much begins with our children, they are a vital part that can change the world for the better. They understand so much and unlike us, children can provide a fresh look at things, ideas of ways of doing thing that we adults are not capable of imagining. We can learn so much from them by treating them as the equals that they are. By partnering with our children, walking through life step-by-step with them, discussing matters fully, adults and children can make better decisions. This helps us all learn ways of understanding all sides of conflicts. The wonderful child-advocate, John Holt, said that children are our greatest assets. They truly are. Thank you so much for your time and thank you for the great work that you do.

Dealing with disillusionment

I’ve gone through up and down periods in my life.  I’ve delved into new age programs and there is nothing that I haven’t tried: I’ve been very adventurous throughout my lifetime. Now I’m in my late 50’s, alone, running out of money because my job doesn’t pay me enough, and my mom just died after being hospitalized for a month — I never left her side.

When I read your comments about synchronicity, etc., — it all seems like one big lie.  Life is just hard and then we die.  And lately, I wish it would come sooner rather than later for me!

Sound in meditation

I am a long time meditator. In the last few years I began to hear a straight line hum of a high frequency. My hearing is 100% perfect, I only hear the sound while meditating & it hum sounds the same regardless of where I am located on earth. What is going on?

Doubting ones judgment

I am 30 years old and currently am at a crossroads in my life. I am getting a divorce from a person who does not love me anymore, but I cannot stop loving her. I also have been raised Catholic, but have always been somewhat agnostic/athiest at heart. The commonality I recognize in these related experiences in my life is a lack of trust in my own judgment and in a guiding higher power. How can I find the trust in life that everything is going to be okay?:

Looking for direction in signs

I’m having a difficult time with something and I’m hoping you can give help and guidance, as it pertains to synchronicities and seeing the number 34. I’ve read your book, ‘Spontaneous Fulfillment of Desire’ and ever since, I’ve been fascinated with synchronicities of the universe that come to us each day. I just always have a hard time deciphering their meaning in my life. Two years ago I had just finished yoga teacher training and was dealing with a broken heart from a man I dated for 7 years (I’ll call him Ed). Things were finally coming to an end and I was devastated by the ending of that relationship. I also felt as if my day-job had hit a dead-end and I wanted a big change, something drastic. I needed an adventure of some sort. This feeling goes on for weeks until I hear from an old colleague about a new position that he is trying to fill at a travel company I worked for during college. I jumped on the opportunity immediately, sent my resume to him and went in for an interview. I was hired on the spot and started work there 2 weeks later. I was thrilled – nervous but excited for my new career and future with the company. Also – the position was going to require some international travel and the thought of that was very, very exciting to me. I thought this change was just the charge my spirit needed to get over Ed and jump start my stagnant career.

I started the new position, it was challenging but I kept telling myself to work through – don’t give up. The company sent me over to The Netherlands on a business trip; I was on top of the world until it all began crashing down on me. I was exhausted from work and felt everything good about me being depleted. I was going through the motions of trying to learn my new job alone. My superiors were not very good teachers – I felt thrown to the wolves, so to speak. I also had to travel with an awful person – mean spirited, condescending – someone who liked making people feel inadequate (which he never held back from doing to me). So one day I’m sitting in my office thinking about how I dislike my job and my ex-director contacts me. As I’m speaking to him – all numbers around me had a 34 in them. He goes on to tell me that the Sr VP at the old company wants me back and is willing to give me more responsibility and match my increase in salary that the travel company paid to hire me. I was shocked but also very confused. I went home that night and just cried – asking for some kind of sign. I needed to know if leaving would be giving up and going back to comfort – i.e. giving up on a chance for personal growth. The next day I went to my current VP, I needed to talk to him about everything dealing with the job, my unhappiness, and the mean co-worker. He said “give it more time” and asked me to go have drinks with him to blow off some steam. I was so torn; I didn’t want to give up on this job but I also found it odd that he asked me to “blow off steam with drinking.” It wasn’t how I wanted to deal with the issue. I also mentioned to him how I felt my life was spiraling out of control with this job, like I was going to wake-up 5 or 10 years later – a workaholic, with a heart condition, a drinking problem and nothing close to true happiness in my life. As I explained myself, I realized that he couldn’t grasp what I was saying – he was all of those things mentioned above.

The very next day, my ex-director called me again with a written offer to return to my old job. I would get a new title, better salary, an office, more responsibility, etc. That day I walked into my current VP’s office and resigned. They let me leave that very day so I took a week off before going back to the previous company. During that week off, I spent a lot of time thinking – I didn’t want to admit that I slightly regretted my decision. I felt like a failure – going back to something I was familiar with. I then watched a movie – “The Pursuit of Happyness” – there is a scene where a door closes – the number on the door read 34. I wondered then, if that is what my number meant. The 2nd weekend after I left the travel company, the VP had a heart-attack and was put in the hospital for 3 weeks. The company let him go after he returned to his job – stating, Position Elimination. A few others in the department lost their jobs as well and then the econo
my took a really bad turn.

I tell you all of this history because synchronicities and the number 34 have appeared in my life again. After going back to the old company, I felt like I was headed in the same direction, dead-end job, etc. I was thinking I wanted to make a move out west, something I had always wanted to do, but never had the confidence to do. I started looking for jobs in Colorado, searching apartments, etc. I heard back from one of the companies I sent my resume to and was going to set-up a time to go interview for the job. The very next weekend I met the man of my dreams (I’ll call him Tom) – September 20, 2008. I walked into a place where I was meeting a friend and BOOM. The sight of him and his energy hit me like a bolt of lightening –we spent just about everyday after that together. I moved-in with him – I thought I would spend the rest of my life with him. I fell so deeply in love with him and it wasn’t until just recently that things began to appear off with our relationship. I fell in love with Tom so fast that I started to lose myself with him. I found that he had a little bit of a controlling side and heavy expectations for me – he didn’t love the free-spirit in me – he thought it was too reckless and too free for his safe, very practical life. I felt like he wanted certain pieces of me…sort-of like parts of me a la Carte – but wasn’t willing to take the parts of me that needed work. Also – during our relationship I thought an awful lot about my ex (Ed) and at times, I would see his name appear in weird places, bill-boards, radio LCD screens, etc. Another oddity is that I would always see Colorado license plate tags. Tom and I rented a car in NYC and the license plate was Colorado! I found that to be weird and seeing it distracted me from the relationship. I wondered if I would make it out West after-all. My head was so full of distractions and thoughts that I decided I needed to end the relationship – as I was making my preparations for moving-out and breaking-up, I started to see 34 everywhere. That number drives me to make decisions, it seems like. When I went in to break-up with Tom I felt like something was talking for me. The words just flowed from me. I almost didn’t want them to because I was scared to lose him – but I had no choice, it felt like. Two days later I heard from my ex-boyfriend’s mom and then my ex-boyfriend who asked if I could meet him at the park. Seeing Ed was great, he was a sight for sore eyes and it was a nice escape for what I was going through. Every time I heard from him, the time was 3:40 or 11:34 or 3:34. It’s that number over and over. Last night Rob came over – we went to the store to get something to eat – I look down at a box of crackers and the brand name is 34. What can this number mean? I’m afraid that it might mean don’t go back to the past…or maybe it’s a sign that I’m on the right path. I’m hurting pretty bad over losing Tom – now I miss him and can’t think of anything frustrating that he ever did. I just think of the good. I’m wondering if the 34 was a sign that I needed to stay on course with him…hence – not go back to old ways like I did with the job. Any help or guidance would be so helpful to me. I can’t find the meaning of this number but I know it has a huge significance on my life. As you can read, I’ve been struggling for some time now.