Healing dreams of grandma

I have been reading your book on synchrodestiny, and I started to meditate using the so hum mantra.  For my archetypes I picked my grandmother who was very close to me and brought me up until I was about nine, she passed away many years ago.   For the first week and up to now I have fallen asleep after ten mins or so, but then last night  something amazing happened to me.  I have been overworking and so very tired and run down that I developed mouth ulcers which usually take one week to heal.  I dreamt that I met my grandmother and she made some kind of herbal tea which she showed me but she told me that I could not know the ingredients, she told me to drink it and that when I woke up I would feel better.  When I woke up I was healed and the mouth ulcers were gone.  Can you tell me is this a direct result of my meditation efforts, or a visit from my grandma and do you have any literature on this.

Breaking out of mental prison

I have been reading Upanishads, yoga literature, Buddhist books and Ayurvedic texts for  about 8-10 years. I am also working on my PhD. I have chosen a spiritual path for fulfillment and contentment. Since, November 14, 2008, I feel that my energy runs up my body and gets all stuck in my head. I have had quite a bit of chakra work done to anchor my root chakra. With loads of meditation, mantra chanting, yoga practices, reiki practices (self treatment), massages and finally Panchakarma, I have learned to bring my energy down quite a bit, but not completely, and when I do it does not stay down very long. Growing up I learned that vignaya marg is the highest path, hence I have focused on knowledge. My solar plexus is the root cause of my problem, where manomaya kosha has created a barrier with my anandamaya kosha. For a while I could feel my heart chakra having a strong protective layer around it. Previously, it was not there, but some major life incidences and situations built a strong layer that prevented me from feeling in the heart for about two years. Seven days of Panchakarma treatment helped me open up my heart. However, my energy still runs up in my neck and head. Do you have any suggestion for me on how to break the cycle of that my mind has gotten stuck , so that my spiritual growth continues and I can function and feel better. I am taking some Ayurvedic herbs (shank pushpi, bacopa, gotu kola). Chakra tuning, chakra shudhi, meditation, and shri yantra mantra chanting and such efforts do help, but not enough. I live in Cheyenne Wyoming where I do not have access to many of spiritual activities or spiritual gurus that metropolitan city often offers.

In the recent chakra balancing by a woman, I learned that my heart chakra has changed its color from green to dusty rose/pink? During her chakra balancing work, she informed me that my heart chakra changed its color from dusty rose to green only in the center. Is there any significant meaning behind the color change and spiritual journey?

Beautiful Voices

First of all, I am sorry my English is no so good but I hope you will understand me.

I am 25 years old, a few month ago, I made a therapy with regression and during one session appeared a voice so sweet , that I called the Source and starts to give me advices and answer my questions about life, It was a very strong and a so beautiful energy.

Since then, this voice speaks to me every morning and every night, o when I close my eyes, meditates and relaxes me…she guided me…and send me a very strong and beautiful energy. Sometimes, she speaks to me for others, most of the time it is for the few people that I have talked that i was in contact with the source;
I wrote to you…because I know…the source tells me that I haven’t to doubt, that my mission is the co creation, that I will received abundance material and spiritual, to can dedicate me to the source, listen and transmit…
I don’t know if it is because of my young age..or just because I am afraid of inventing it all….
But I think that for the moment..I am like looking to share this experience…

Is the subconscious divine or destructive?

I’ve read/heard that our sub-conscious is a place where doubts, fears and limitations exist from our experiences and past. These doubts/fears drive the way we are, and even to the point where deep-seated fears affect the Law of Attraction. If we have a deep limited thought that we don’t deserve _____, we’ll never get it until we erase the sub-conscious belief (through whatever means).
I’ve also read/heard that the sub-conscious is God-conscious…our natural state.
So my question is…how can the sub-conscious be the place of fears and limits AND the unlimited power of creation of God at the same time?

Caring for an unloving parent

I was raised by an insensitive, unloving cruel, selfish man.  Intentionally cruel and enjoyed it.

He has caused me much heart ache by not giving me the love and care that I so much deserved.  I am sick and fatigued.

He is old and sick and has had a good life and now I find myself feeling compassion for him,  He still treats me disrespectfully, but I still help him because my brother who he has given everything to(because he is a boy ,he is cruel and selfish also) does not help at all, he just takes money from my dad.
I do not get or ask for anything.  My question to you is that I feel that I should do this but I do not know why because I do not enjoy being with him because he is still not nice.  I just feel sorry for him.
 Am I doing the right thing, or am I harming myself by being around this negative person who makes me feel inferior and not loved, but used?
 I trust your spiritual intuition and I hope that you will answer this question for me.
 Will this help, or damage my spiritual growth?