Ask Deepak: How to Forgive Your Ex

Each week, spiritual teacher Deepak Chopra responds to Oprah.com users’ questions with enlightening advice to help them live their best lives.

Q: How can I be sure I have completely forgiven my former spouse for abuse, abandonment and alcoholism? Can this really be done properly without contact with him (via letter)? We were together for 20 years and have two grown daughters who do not have good relations with their dad either. I have not spoken to him since the messy divorce 15 years ago. He remarried right away. And how can I be sure I have completely forgiven myself for my part in it? Oprah.com